I couldn't get my thoughts unjumbled enough this year to get a letter out with our cards. So maybe I can sum up a bit of our year here instead (if there is anyone left reading!!!)

The year started off with the usual birthdays - Holly turned 2 in January and Ryan 7 in February. Ry had a Movie Theater party - we got the whole theater to ourselves for an hour before we watched Pink Panther :) it was a lot of fun. He requested a Diglett cake - and I was able to deliver on that. Of course come July that meant I needed to deliver on a Piplup cake for Kyle (and I did too!).

We saw some turmoil at work and said goodbye to some colleagues. I'm no longer a manager, which was a change I welcomed. There was too much new going on for me and moving back to an individual contributor role worked well for all involved I think.

Kyle turned 9 in July (9!!! my baby boy is 9!) and he's growing more and more into a middle schooler every day. He had a birthday party at Jump On In and all involved had a blast... Of course there was the Piplup cake too :)

We saw sadness this year... Steve's Grandpa passed away over Thanksgiving weekend. It was sad to say goodbye, but he's with Gram now. And I think that's all he's really wanted these last few years. So he's at peace.

The kids have all done growing and growing. Ry's in 2nd grade and improving his performance in ways that make me proud. We instituted a series of changes for him and they seem to be helping. Ry also had his tonsils and adenoids removed in September. It's the first real hospitalization for any of the 3, but the whole thing went as smooth as something like your child having surgery can go. His recovery was relatively smooth and it seems to have done the trick. He's definitely sleeping better (it was obstructive sleep apnea for those wondering) and combined with the other changes we've made, we're seeing a great improvement in school.

Kyle is growing into a little man. He's caring and just a wonderful boy. He's found a love for reading, and just wants to curl up with a book in his bed after school... I have to get him to get his homework done first, or we won't see him again until dinner! He's also discovered music - and will choose to listen to music over watching TV. He's in 3rd grade and will move to the middle school here next year.

Holly is quite the adorable little girl. Spoiled rotten as any little girl with two older brothers will be - she's got a spine though! She gives back to the boys and is a mixture of girly-girl and tomboy... She's talking a mile a minute - you just can't shut her up!! :) She knows she's cute and she plays the card well. She loves being a 'princess' - which is any time she has a dress on... she loves her friends at the center and looks forward to playing with them every day. In just a few weeks our little girl will be 3!!! And she's very excited to be having a 'Princess Party' :)

All three of the kids are full of love and hugs. No matter what happens out in the world I have a daily dose of love that reminds me life keeps on happening regardless of what has happened elsewhere. Having children has shown me that I can cry over the loss of someone we knew, and yet laugh at something my child has done - all within hours of each other.

For those that have also lost this year, I send hugs, strength, warmth and love.

I also am remembering the soldiers that are deployed this holiday season. Thank you so very much for your willingness to go into the line of fire. You stand up for my family and I love you for that. Stay safe this Christmas. Know you are appreciated and loved.

Merry Christmas.
Happy Holidays.
Seasons Greetings.

With love,
Jen

"The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible -- and achieve it, generation after generation."
--Pearl S Buck

I was looking for something around children and success and looking at things more the way they do and their lack of fear and so forth. This is what I landed on. I try to remember as often as possible to try to see things (or not see as the case may be) from the point of view of the kids. They are in awe. Everything is something to learn.

Though today - after going to Sunday school and talking more about the resurrection - Ryan declared - "Jesus. He was a zombie!" - ummm yeah. Something like that :o)

Find out How to Post your own Success Sunday!

Can the four of you handle one more post from me today? Too bad! :o)

Just wanted to wish everyone out there a Happy and Safe Thanksgiving. Here at FamilyFrisch we have things to be thankful for too numerous to count! We can start with what I told Kyle on Sunday - we had put together a Thanksgiving 'basket' with the Tiger Den and we were delivering it to the local food pantry. Kyle wanted to know more, so I told him that it was for families that didn't have enough food. Why? Well, some families aren't bringing home enough money to buy enough food. We are fortunate enough to not only make enough money for ourselves, but we can share with others as well. Oh! he says. And his face lit up. I reminded him (and myself) that we should be very thankful that we have never had to worry about how much food we had.

Saw another Mom I know on my way in who was there with Brownies (doing the same thing) and the Troop was getting a tour of the pantry. She said she'd stay out there because she had seen it before. Oh, I haven't. And then I said "which I should be thankful for - that I haven't needed to come here for myself in the last 4 years." The woman that organizes the food pantry and all of the Holiday meals is just a wonderful, fabulous woman. I hope every town has a Mary B.

Besides being thankful for all we have. I am thankful for our health. That even when we do fall ill, it is relatively painless and easy to remedy or wait out. We are thankful for our family and friends. For our home and our ability to make improvements to it. We're thankful that even with the skyrocketing gas prices we are able to drive down to Mom's this weekend, and then to PA in December, so that we can be with family at the holidays.

I am thankful for penicillin! And for alternatives to penicillin since Ky is allergic to the P stuff! :O) And I am thankful for the good drug makers that make the pink stuff so tasty - so that even Ryan will take it without much fuss. I'm thankful, that there is a wonderful set of people who lovingly take charge of my daughter every day while I work. No, I don't *have* to work. We could manage if we tightened the belt and reigned in our ridiculous spending habits. But I *need* to work. Which I've talked about before. And because I work, I'm a better Mom. So I'm so very thankful that I don't have to worry about Holly while she is with other folks - who incidently have become so ingrained in our lives they are like family now! Probably why we are so trusting and comfortable with them.

I am thankful for the pretty white snow we got yesterday, and even more thankful that it came yesterday and not today when we are getting ready for our long drive!

And many, many, many other blessings that surround us in our daily lives. I hope all of you can see the things that you are thankful for today. Some of us may get stuck and remain focused on the things that we don't have, or our struggles. This weekend is a good point to pause and reflect on what we DO have. :o)

Happy Thanksgiving!

I met with a therapist yesterday - for me. I've been very down for a few weeks now... Prior to that I had my normal state of mind - which may or may not be 'normal' for others ;o) ... with my mini-anxiety/panic attacks. Apparently, I am really afraid of my own mortality. Growing old and dying terrifies me - sort of. I don't know that I'm necessarily afraid of the old or dying part... it's the getting there. The Decrepit part ;o) - it's usually moments when things really sink in - quiet, reflective type times. Oh my God, I'm 30-something, a Mom of two who will grow up into teenagers. My own parents are not young and some day I'll lose them... and this spirals quickly into a panicky/scared feeling that I visualize grouping into a physical thing and jumping on until it goes away (visualization is a wonderful thing!). So why post this? Because it's background....

So these have been there for a while, and I have my 'sad' times, as I'm sure most everybody has, but I can usually shake it quickly and move on to life again. The last few weeks have left me feeling very down and depressed. Extremely tired. I don't want to do things like cook, or make cards, or work on my scrapbooks... so it's border line as far as 'clinical' depression. But I was so down on my Birthday that I decided it was ridiculous. So I called and made an appointment. Do I think a therapist will magically make the depression go away? Nope. But I was hoping for insight and a 'safe' place to talk about stuff that can really scare me sometimes. Yes, I talk to Steve about them, but he's there to love and protect me. He's not necessarily objective ;o)

So, the sadness is seeming to cycle somewhat. I've had two bad Mondays now, and it seems to lift a little during the week. This wednesday was a really good day... At any rate - I was there talking to her yesterday. Explaining what's going on with Kyle - and yes, I totally think this is directly related. Whether it's just stress of the whole evaluation and decisions we're making regarding him, or if it's guilt, I'm not sure yet. I suspect it's both. So I fill her in about Kyle and then the usual 'what were you like as a child' comes up. Well, in filling in my childhood there is a single event that seriously defines my entire being (as I'm sure it does my brother as well). My older sister, Christine, was diagnosed with Leukemia at around 2.5 - 3 years old. Just before I was born. We lost her just before her 6th birthday, when I was 2. My brother was born shortly after that.

So with this detail, the therapist looks straight at me and says 'There you go'. I hadn't made the connection before, and wow it was powerful. But not everyone is going to be ready to make a connection like this, so again I have to state that what happened with my sister is something I carry with me every day. Losing a child in any manner is something that then affects not only the parents and other children, but how the family reacts, and how the family is defined.

So here I have my own 5 year old. My first born. He is having a really hard time and is going through a series of appointments with various professional-type people. You have to pull back to look at the similarities here... yes they ARE entirely different. Kyle is not ill, does not have a life threatening disease - I am not directly linking that... the therapist went so far as to say that even the word 'diagnose' starts with 'die'. By going through what we are with Kyle, we are being faced with the fact that our child is not perfect - because lets face it, we all expect our children to be what we were not, right? Or at least, what we are and making it better. And so, in facing this, there is a feeling of loss. While not actually losing a child, I may feel as though I am losing a dream, or a piece. or possibly just potential.

So it was powerful suggestion. That I am bringing up the feelings of loss that I harbor for Christine - and will always have - and adding them to what I would naturally feel over what we have going on with Kyle. Kind of puts my current slump in a new light.

See ? No magic dust, no drugs... just a new perspective. I may not have felt any less sad when I left last night, but I did have a new way of looking at things and examining myself.

She's going to get ahold of some checklists for me for ADHD - at this point it's more curiousity, though if I can figure out how to get past the focus problems I have at work, that would be great. She nodded a lot when I explained the traits that I see in myself. My biggest problem in my personal life? The mess-factor. I've held my own for 2 years now... not a perfectly clean house by any means, but passable. These last few weeks I've let the house just fall apart... ugh. And that makes it harder to pick up.

Stolen from Mel's 'broadcast' on MySpace... simple, and powerful...
(if I can give someone credit for this, I gladly will, but my quick google search found it re-posted a lot, all with no author...)

One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a debate that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.”

”One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.”

”The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."